~what should i do?~

the pain inside me...it's killing me.....i don't know what i should do...i like the relationship that we are in....but i want to be more than that to her....but i also scared that it will be worse....later can't even be her friend...how?
should I? should I not?

I feel so pathetic right now.......maybe to my frens...this is hard to believe? haha...I don't know what to tell them...I've been keeping this secret all along...act differently to my feelings...so that no one will found out...
maybe this is not a good time to reveal the secret...maybe should keep for another few years? but it's already too late...can't go back...that's probably why i abit regret...

i miss her.....

~I don't know~

hmm...now is oredi third sem...alot things happened till now...but yesterday is most different. I told my frens one of my secrets that i kept for 2-3 years...i love her for quite a long time...but got alot of other feelings confuse me...
flashback....that time i was form 2...i like her...but got rejected...everytime tried to get close but failed...even with my friends supporting...and then time pass...i wanted to forget her...then started liking other girls...actually that time i already let the feelings go...but then..it was form 4-5....she suddenly came and we started to get close...the feelings from before start to come back...i didn't tell anyone how i felt back then...just kept it to myself and act as usual...but i really wanted people to know but i just cant say it...she became my kai mui...and my friend and I are her kai gor. She usually come to us. Our time together was wonderful..but sometimes there was ups and downs also...haha...i'm very happy when i'm around her...but i didn't say it out to anyone...when she leave..there's always this pain in my chest...but everytime i tried to endure it...maybe i just don't want people to know of this secret...just wanna be brother and sisters??!

actually...i'm not sure myself...i want to be more than a brother to her...to care for her, protect her, love her...but i'm not sure what she feel about me...probably just a brother? hmm...yesterday go friends house to share secrets...then i really wanted to tell this secret out...actually i felt better...after telling....like there's always been something there...then now it's gone...but i feel really painful....i can't even sleep...its too painful....

when i think about it...i like the relationship we are in...but..i'm just scared if i tell her...everything will be over...when i'm with her...i always feel at ease and comfortable...even when talking over the phone.....and yesterday went out with her and my friends....everytime i wanted to get close to her..but i always try to limit myself...and create a distance around her...sometimes get jealous of her with other guys...but also..i tried to endure it...somehow...its always bothering it....now...i don't know what i should do....i just know that i'm in love with her...

~Funny Moments #3~

Pat eating ice-cream like a little boy...XD

"F U"

"F U 2"

"Let us in...wuuu"

......

"lets play golf."

"Shhs...i'm stealing this thing..hehe"

He's watching ahem ahem...haha

My letterfont in calligraphy...letter Y

"Nice music, i'm loving it"

" weeeeeee!!!..."

"abluhbluahbluuuh"

~2nd Sem~

Haha..it's been so long since i talk about myself and the things happening...well...alot things happened actually, well...not all good things and not all bad things...in college...alot of assignments...um..not just alot...it's f*cking lot....haih...do work until didn't sleep at all...almost die the next day...and i get sick easily if not enough rest...test coming soon, final project also need to progress liao...what the hell..time move damn fast, i feel like just starting the 2nd semester and now this.....

my love life is dead, waiting for it to be revived....haha...when there's love...there's always pain....what is love actually? hmmm...maybe now concentrate more on study lo.....Hope everyone can achieve their happiness....and cheer up those who are heartbroken....
Long distance relationship doesn't last? both of my good friends are now single...about 1-2 years....so i'm not really sure about this....never have a long distance relationship before....

hmm...this semester quite enjoy...haha...play games with housemates, go out have fun...the thing is i'm getting low on budget...using more and more...but not all on food....mostly on materials....wa...so damn expensive, masking tape rm2.30.....use 2 weeks need buy new one...omg...and gouache colour rm25.....graphic pen rm7.50....design mecha pen....rm20...charcoal pen rm11........i want to buy but don't have the money to buy...haha...

Yesterday i'm so pissed...there's this f*cker...walao...act so cool...then take my newsprint paper which i leave on the table beside me...like everything he owned it....he tear out a piece and walk away....this is not even his own class....so rude for what? where's his manner? cannot ask people? Rich guy can be rude? man...i was so damn angry that time....a TRUE geNuiNe MotHerFucking dicKLess Brainless ShitHead basTaRd DOG!

>SORRY FOR THE FOUL LANGUAGES, i just want to express my feelings out...and say he's a dog...=P<

I miss my hometown....haih...everytime stressed or got some bad things happened...i want to go home....miss my friends and family.....but...everyone very busy with their lives lor....everyone walking their own path of their future...missing everyone....

~SUCKS~

hmmm...so long didn't touch my blog....hehe...was busy with assignments and other things...
nowadays the internet connection in my housing area sucks...and P1 sucks even more...damn...its getting slower and slower...eventhough we always reach the p1 40gb limit...well...i'm the one downloading lots of movie and games...XD..but nevermind that...now can't even do my research or anything...disconnected....really fucked up...


Anyhow, hope few days more it will get better...i will try to post when i have the time...but...i know there are not much people interested in my blog...but i want to thank those who came to read my blog...=) thanks!

~Funny Moments #2~

Another day of funniness...haha (>.<)

*Deng* Im too full...

Tissue wasting...(everyone was looking at us...haha...)

Yum Yum..Mum mum...

Carls Jr. ~OH YeaH~ (Before)

Superstar Large(After)

Trash + Leftover

Midnight Sun...XD

Pat+Kee+Seng Kin

Same =.="

HeeHee...i like this one...Pat so not natural...looks funny

My Senior, Kai..funny leh

Elvis

Yum Yum...Wendy's
"This french fry looks like me"

Kai & Kee
"I think everyone know wad's on his mind...hehe"

Funny Videos

Credits to:
Performer: Kee
CameraMan: Yang
ExtraGuy1:Elv
ExtraGuy2:Ben

~Funny Moments #1~

Hmm...today was a funny day...XD..Ben, Pat, Kee and I were walking to have our dinner...at sunway pyramid...then..stopped at a car...Kee saw a cat..then go pet it...then we all take pic of him and the pic..then Pat take me with them...then Ben take the 3 of us...but no one take Ben's photo...haha...then we all laugh until stomach pain...hahahaha...hmm..after that..eat at chicken rice shop....not so good..abit lame...haha...so expensive...then go back luuuu~~~

Kee & cat

Kee & 2 cats

Same =.=

Me+Kee+2 cats

Pat+Me+Kee+2 cats