~Thinking too much~

Hmm...i won't delete posts like that....maybe it will just be a funny memory in the future...haha....maybe i'm just being emotional....EMO~....haha..whatever la....everyone should just be yourself....express your feelings out...don't keep it inside...to let it out feels better....but someone just may get hurt.....so..i don't really know what to do....
Need someone to understand me and correct me....haha...BaKA~

~I NEVER HAD A FATHER!!~

I never really had a father....my father is someone who is caring, understand my feelings, give me advice....and such....such..
...but there's someone here....since i first saw him...i never did like him....he sometimes can be good...and sometimes can be hot-tempered.....what the hell....but i'm living in his fucking house....god damned it....i still have to respect that ASSHOLE....once i got out of this house....hmph...get that fucking face of yours out of my face....
ANGERED~~~
don't know since when...i started being scolded when it's not my fault....it happens too many times i lost counted....today...when having dinner....i pull out the chair....got sound when it was pulled out....then he said,"WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU ALL!!"....what the hell...i got scolded for pulling the chair....i was so angry...ARGh...can't stand him liao....PTGIMMOSTMF~
maybe i'm just angry....or thinking too much....but i really do HATE him....i may forgive him....may talk to him....but all i did was pretend...wahh...so easy....
I"M SORRY FOR BEING LIKE THIS....it's my feelings....don't know who can understand this...pressure and hatred....the feeling of being blammed for everything......
P/S : Don't worry...i won't be like this to anyone i cared for......SOWIES~

~ My Boring School Life & ME ~

HaihhXx....So Bored...at home....going to school is better than staying at home doing nothing....haha...i have study...but still very bored after that...died of boredom? haha...maybe it's possible....i have hp liao...but still...no people find me....nothing much to do....arghh...at school...have friends....can chit chat with them....enjoying my few months at the school....haiihhh....i love the cold strong winds blowing in my face....always enjoyed that....now...it's just exam exam exam....so sienn...baka...baka...baka~ everything is happening so fast....i feel as if i was just form 2...in 2D6...hanging with my best friend...Aaron....and some buddies....that was the best year in st.co....i miss those days...we would arrived at school about 12 midday....then i will call my friends to go to our spot to enjoy the wind....we would talk about alot of things..from our love problems to computer games.....hahaha...during PJ is the best subject...we would change into our PJ shirts and went to the field to play....basketball...soccer...baseball....and just running around....haha....oh ya...the teachers in my class that time...they sucks....they just go in our class then open the book and start reading....when the subject is over...the teacher will just leave....there's about 3-4 useless teacher....haha...so our grades aren't that good....
wAaaAAa~~~i really missed those days.....and now...in my present class...5L3....the worst science class...haha...happy go lucky class....haizz....i got 2nd last place in class.....i suck.....don't know what will happen if i change to the art side in the 1st place....but to think of that...i much prefer now....having to know so many friends...and my jiejies.........so i will not regret it...i'm satisfied with all these already......
Hmm....my friends and noob family...all have problems...haihh....maybe it's from the stress of SPM....hearing about that exam ruins my happy-go-lucky mood...WTF...PTGIYMAPTTOSTMF....
In the class...haha...i would normally started drawing....i will feel very good to complete a piece of completed work....sometimes...mostly everytime....i will draw something half-way......that is one of my bad habits....doing things half-heartedly....haihhxx....hmm....there's also lots of bad habits from me....small gas...hot tempered....cannot take criticsm( my friends gives a bad comment about my drawings...and i feel i wan to beat them up)....haha...but i will try to be a better person....i also don't like those bad habits...hoping they would just disappear...i hate myself for being angry the most....scared that someone will get hurt....and i also hate my self for being so useless....everytime said the wrong word...ended up hurting the people i cared for.....i know no one is perfect..but i will try to be better from now on.....haih...i hope all of my friends can achieve their happiness....to see them happy...i also will feel happy......haha.....friends and families...are really important to me...as you know...i'm a guy who likes to be with people...hate the lonely feelings....hate to be alone....but if i'm left alone...nevermind...i'm already normal with that.....other than that...i also hate being completely ignored........i also hate the people who hate me....enough of the things i hate.....
hmmm....i love...um....to be with my jie jie....to be with noob family....to be with my friends....and other people i cared about....i love candy....but can't eat too much....need to take care of my teeth....i love....fashion....hairstyle....and accessories...haha...and don't forget shopping...haha...weird ha...a boy who likes shopping.....love drawing......and dancing....popping locking....breaking....love hanging out with friends.....playing LAN games together...but most of all...i love hugs....haha...warm warm hugs.....but not simply from anyone....haha....i may be childish but sometimes can also be mature....haha...depends....wuhahahaha....BaKa~

~NooBiE faMiLy 1sT meEtiNG~

Our 1st meeting was on 22/8/08...at Aza's house...we all wanted to make sushi at there...we bring the ingredients and such....Sasa also bring some other ingredients to cook the noodle....We arrived there...Sasa and me....cause he follow my car...we went upstairs....and saw an "AH MU"....then i turned out to be Baba...haha..it's dark...so can't see properly...that's so humorous...then Aza said need go through the back door...we go there....still need to wait...haih haih...slow slow...then finally...we entered the house...most comfortable is Aza's room...haha...air-conditioned room...Sasa cook noodle for us 1st....it's very delicious....haha...then later we went to buy some drinks...after that we rest awhile...then it's sushi making....we make some and eat some....then we make....make...and make...we're all full already...from eating the sushi as we make it....then we have a drink..." CHEERS to noobie family 1st meeting "....Hahaha...then take some pictures...haha....

~Separation~

It was 25 of August 2008...this day is very special to me...i went out with my da jie and sha po jie and some of their friends and some of them are my friends...Both of my jie jie wait me at boulevard KFC there...we already said to wait at there....i arrived and we walk to Michael Steamboat...we're the 1st one there...so we eat 1st...awhile later...more of their friends come...the food is very delicious...haha...my first time go there...it was about 9pm++ when we finished eating...later...i go with my da jie and sha po jie...to Canada Hill....our friend drive us there...this is also my 1st time go to Canada Hill at night time....we arrived there...the view of the city from there is just magnificient...the lights of the buildings the ships...the cold humid air..the dark starry sky...it's so wonderful to watch that lovely view with da jie and sha po jie....it's also very quiet and peaceful...i will never forget that night...haha...we take some photo together with everyone including me and my jiejies...and i got 2 hugs from sha po jie....that time i told her not to forget didi o...after awhile enjoying there...we have to go home already....it was almost 11pm...so late already...haha...i lean on da jie's shoulder in the car...warm warm shoulder...haha...almost fall asleep...hahaha....then i ask for a hug from her....she hugged me...i told her not to forget didi also...she say she wont de la...then i continue to lean on her shoulder...then reach their home...and it's time to say goodbye....wuwuwwuu....so sad...separation with my da jie and sha po jie....
Now, sha po jie is working at KL...she says she's okay....i'm glad to hear that...and hope to hear from her soon....and da jie is working here in Miri....it's also very hard to contact her...she work early in the morning till late at night...she will be exhausted when her work finished...I feel somehow lonely and sad...but i have a noobie family to comfort me...hahaha...AND MY Da Jie and Sha Po Jie are IRREPLACEABLE...my feelings for them is very DEEP...
~~~Missing my precious Da Jie and Sha Po Jie as always...even now~~~

~Loneliness~

Loneliness is an emotional state in which a person experiences a powerful feeling of emptiness and isolation. Loneliness is more than the feeling of wanting company or wanting to do something with another person. Loneliness is a feeling of being cut off, disconnected and alienated from other people. The lonely person may find it difficult or even impossible to have any form of meaningful human contact. Lonely people often experience a subjective sense of inner emptiness or hollowness, with feelings of separation or isolation from the world.

To me, loneliness is one of my most hated feelings...when i was in primary school...i was usually lonely...and i'm quiet...so i'm hard to befriends with....but i do have some good friends...one of them is my best friend, Chai Han Kiong...when he was in primary 6...his family had to move to bintulu...so...he left Miri...i lost contact with him after i went into secondary school...he gave me his handphone number but i lost it....i still remember him until now...hahahaha...and after that time...i only have some chinese friends...there are some iban and malay friends...but they don't treat me very nice...sometimes they like...alienated me...completely ignoring me for a whole day...make fun of my name...and such...so i'm lonely at that time...hoping my best friend would come back. And in secondary school...when i was form 1...the iban and malay friends still have a habit of bullying me...sometimes they would steal my drinking bottle...still make fun of me..and other more horrible things...

But everything change when i was in form 2...there's my new best friend....his name is Aaron Wong Vun Heng...we both really like to draw...and we usually go everywhere together...both of our results are not so good though...but we really had good times together...he transfered into RRSS after he finished form 2...Oh ya...he also repeated a year in form 3 to take his PMR...We still have contact each other until now...we usually go shopping together...haha...for clothes...accessories...and such...we talk about girls and such...haha...

Other than that, there's my da jie and sha po jie...last year...we had so much fun together...hahaha...i would usually go hit their head lightly...and they would hit back...haha...they are very close to me...and i don't have a real jie jie...so...they are really important to me...and i love them very much...haha...they graduated from St.co last year...now they are working and studying....But i still not sure where they are going though...i will always remember them...

Now, it's just me and some good friends...sometimes...they would do homework together...but you know...i'm not good in studies...just good at drawing...so..normally..i ended up alone...drawing silently on my desk...waiting for someone to talk to me and accompany me...sometimes i will show my drawings to my friends...they would comment my drawing...but i can't really take criticism...but i will try to do better...hahaha....sometimes i feel i don't belong here...hope that someone will understand me better...i just don't want to be alone....KerO~

~My Feelings Confirmed...~

Haha...finally confirmed liao....my feelings i mean....
u know...my feelings always not clear...but some are CLEAR...haha....
i just admire the girl...nothing more than that....hahaha...
but the dream had made me realized that i admired her...
hahaha....>.< KErO~