~Feeling left out~

Today is christmas eve....went out with eugene and cj....then watch movie and have dinner with them....
I wanted to go for the countdown but no one's there....walao....sad dao...then my housemates and friends all go somewhere far to eat and go for the countdown....

I'm all here alone....no one to accompany me to go for countdown....
One thing i hate the most is being left out....makes me feel i dun have friends....haihhhh....
y i keep getting all these negative feelings? why do u keep treating me like this??? FUCK!

~Where are my friends?~

I'm sad....to hear that...where are my friends? or do i even have friends?
Friends treat each other nicely rite? I'm all alone....after all

I'm in KL....in a house...got 2 good housemates....but I feel like they don't care anymore....
Is it because of stress? people changed? or is this fake.....faking it all along?

Well...I take relationship seriously.....now i really am pissed off....

When I'm like this....hoping someone will cheer me up...i want to go home....
I hope it isn't like this back at my hometown.....

~L!Fe-How everything doesn't turn out the way u planned~

Oh, how i'm pissed of the things that doesnt turn out the way i planned. I know this makes life interesting but its just not fair. It making me disappointed with life. Whenever i feel like this i want something good to make me forget this feeling. I always keep my feelings bottled up in myself. Im scared if will burst and hurt my friends and family.
I want to go out and have fun to release out all this motherf*cking feelings trapped in me.......wanna go to somewhere abandoned and destroy stuffs with a sledge hammer.....or go clubbing with my close friends....get drunk and get wasted.....
The way i think about it, this world is cruel, filled with cruel people. People get hurt everyday, let's just pray for the victims to be better. And pray that luck is with them. And also with us. Cherish every moment you're with close friends, lovers or family. Nothing last forever and everyone will separate one day, and that makes us who we are today. That makes our bonds become stronger....also sometimes this bond make break and never to heard from it again.

~Heart Melts~

It's been quite long, ever since i go to this korean wave thing, i saw someone, it was probably love at first sight. But now, everytime she is busy, so busy until no time to chat with her, i wanted to know more about her but there's always no chance. I feel like it is just an excuse to push me away, hoping i will give up eventually. But I wont give up so easily. Even if she told me she's busy, it's a good enough reply to keep me happy the rest of the day. Usually she will just ignore or no reply. Maybe all of this is just me thinking too much cause i tend to do that alot.
But now, I think i can't help it, this feeling is getting stronger and stronger. Mostly i will go to her facebook profile and see what she's up to, sometimes i feel jealous, sometimes feel happy to see her smiling so happy like that. One of the good point i like about her is her smile, hope i can make her smile. I want her to be mine so badly. And i want her to return my feelings too. That is what i hoped for. I dreamed of her, but its not really a good dream, we're walking and i saw her, but she didnt see me..and she just walk pass me, like there's no one there. I know this dream is a bad sign. Even though i quite know where this is going, i still keep hanging on and not letting go of this small hope.

~what a sick day~

Today woke up at 930am++ then took a bath, after that felt a bit weird, feeling weak, no energy...then go back to sleep again, hoping i will be better after some rest. Woke up and feeling worse, feeling nausea. Then eat some medicine and sleep somemore. Whole day i've been sleeping and resting, without even touching my assignments, wasted today away....i have a test tomorrow and i havent study for it....damn...life's a bitch...

~11/10/10 Rest In Peace Lokie~

Today, i called my mom, like usual, everytime i got back from college i will call her....she ask me wanna hear a bad news or not? i said yeah....she say Lokie is dead.....i'm a bit speechless....and sad....
So many bad things happened at a time...I hope you will be happy in the afterlife.....goodbye and good luck my beloved dog, Lokie.

27August

Hmm..today went out with chan, today we celebrate useless mei's bday even though already past. Firstly, chan came to my house, chat and exchange some movie, games etc. After that then we go to bamboo cafe, its kinda like a home cafe or something, not much people know about that place but its quite popular...haha...its quite nice, i think it only opens at night, open till 2am...can hang out with friends at that place...inside the cafe is quite dark...so the atmosphere is quite nice in there...haha...so chan and i chat while waiting for our useless mei...she's late...after some chit chat then here she comes...then we go order and eat our dinner there....hmm...it's kinda funny....it's like they haven't talked in ages...they only come out when i'm back in miri...HAHA...and everytime we will hear useless mei complain about her school, i know i know...the school sucks...after finished eating, useless mei go to her "friend"'s place....and chan took me to go for a ride....site seeing...at canada hill....its nice...i so miss that place....feels nostalgic...haha...the dark starry night...and the city lights...with some cool breezes....haha...that's all..haha