~L!Fe-How everything doesn't turn out the way u planned~

Oh, how i'm pissed of the things that doesnt turn out the way i planned. I know this makes life interesting but its just not fair. It making me disappointed with life. Whenever i feel like this i want something good to make me forget this feeling. I always keep my feelings bottled up in myself. Im scared if will burst and hurt my friends and family.
I want to go out and have fun to release out all this motherf*cking feelings trapped in me.......wanna go to somewhere abandoned and destroy stuffs with a sledge hammer.....or go clubbing with my close friends....get drunk and get wasted.....
The way i think about it, this world is cruel, filled with cruel people. People get hurt everyday, let's just pray for the victims to be better. And pray that luck is with them. And also with us. Cherish every moment you're with close friends, lovers or family. Nothing last forever and everyone will separate one day, and that makes us who we are today. That makes our bonds become stronger....also sometimes this bond make break and never to heard from it again.

~Heart Melts~

It's been quite long, ever since i go to this korean wave thing, i saw someone, it was probably love at first sight. But now, everytime she is busy, so busy until no time to chat with her, i wanted to know more about her but there's always no chance. I feel like it is just an excuse to push me away, hoping i will give up eventually. But I wont give up so easily. Even if she told me she's busy, it's a good enough reply to keep me happy the rest of the day. Usually she will just ignore or no reply. Maybe all of this is just me thinking too much cause i tend to do that alot.
But now, I think i can't help it, this feeling is getting stronger and stronger. Mostly i will go to her facebook profile and see what she's up to, sometimes i feel jealous, sometimes feel happy to see her smiling so happy like that. One of the good point i like about her is her smile, hope i can make her smile. I want her to be mine so badly. And i want her to return my feelings too. That is what i hoped for. I dreamed of her, but its not really a good dream, we're walking and i saw her, but she didnt see me..and she just walk pass me, like there's no one there. I know this dream is a bad sign. Even though i quite know where this is going, i still keep hanging on and not letting go of this small hope.

~what a sick day~

Today woke up at 930am++ then took a bath, after that felt a bit weird, feeling weak, no energy...then go back to sleep again, hoping i will be better after some rest. Woke up and feeling worse, feeling nausea. Then eat some medicine and sleep somemore. Whole day i've been sleeping and resting, without even touching my assignments, wasted today away....i have a test tomorrow and i havent study for it....damn...life's a bitch...

~11/10/10 Rest In Peace Lokie~

Today, i called my mom, like usual, everytime i got back from college i will call her....she ask me wanna hear a bad news or not? i said yeah....she say Lokie is dead.....i'm a bit speechless....and sad....
So many bad things happened at a time...I hope you will be happy in the afterlife.....goodbye and good luck my beloved dog, Lokie.

27August

Hmm..today went out with chan, today we celebrate useless mei's bday even though already past. Firstly, chan came to my house, chat and exchange some movie, games etc. After that then we go to bamboo cafe, its kinda like a home cafe or something, not much people know about that place but its quite popular...haha...its quite nice, i think it only opens at night, open till 2am...can hang out with friends at that place...inside the cafe is quite dark...so the atmosphere is quite nice in there...haha...so chan and i chat while waiting for our useless mei...she's late...after some chit chat then here she comes...then we go order and eat our dinner there....hmm...it's kinda funny....it's like they haven't talked in ages...they only come out when i'm back in miri...HAHA...and everytime we will hear useless mei complain about her school, i know i know...the school sucks...after finished eating, useless mei go to her "friend"'s place....and chan took me to go for a ride....site seeing...at canada hill....its nice...i so miss that place....feels nostalgic...haha...the dark starry night...and the city lights...with some cool breezes....haha...that's all..haha

~Sohai day with best bud~

haha...today is such a funny day...outing with aaron...first off...i went to his house...then his dad drove us to imperial area.....then we go our "usual hang out place"....eat some spaghetti....and have some drinks together...chit chat...then went to a cybercafe near the place...then play alot of games....lfd2, demigod, hon, cs, etc etc...then after that...resting and time for dinner....again...we go back to the hang out place and eat some more spaghetti...after finished it...then order the 2nd round...wow....so unbelievable....haha....so we had 3 spaghetti meals altogether...and at the same place....and we back to the cybercafe again and play somemore.....and that's about it....one day just flew away with some games and spaghetti...

~whenever i feel unsatisfied with life...i will come here and complain about it~

what a day....hmm...how will u feel when u did something and put alot of effort into it...but someone else come and just take it away from you and still complain...well...i'm doing my moral notes and exercises....after finishing it all night...the next day..my friend ask me to lend it to him...what the fuck?! could even copy from the textbook...all the answers are in there...and notes....why u didn't copy in the class? need  to ask from me at a time like this? if I didn't lend it to you, you will say i'm a bad friend? say u wanted to save time to do other assignments? what about me? why don't i just copy from someone else? ok...i'm being a selfish bastard...but you never think of how other people felt....
hmm...im stressing and now i'm complaining..maybe i just need some rest...stress makes me talk like this....